Um...

I'm a coward. A huge coward. I will talk shit about people all day -- behind their backs. You know this. Hell, just look at this website.

I spotted the Dumbest Waitress the other day, engaged in a passionate conversation with one of our customers. In this case, a two-year-old boy. The two of them babbled incoherently at each other, laughing and giggling all the while.

As they left, D.W. turned me to with a grin. "He was fun," she said.

I bet, I thought. You finally found someone on your intellectual level.

And then I realized that I'd actually said it aloud. Oops.

Her eyes narrowed, and she glared at me. There was real hurt and anger in her face. She drew in a hissing breath and practically spat at me:

"Don't make fun of him!"

She said it.