Again, sir: there are two options, and that isn't one of them

We don't take checks anymore -- we just received way too many bad ones. So now we only accept cash and credit cards. Fortunately, that cuts down on the possibility of fraud. Unfortunately, it means I have to have this conversation every day:

"Will you be paying with cash or credit?"
"A check."

Grr!

Even better (and by "better" I mean "more annoying") is when I tell them we don't take checks, and they ask to speak to the manager. Why? How exactly do you think that conversation is going to go?

"We don't accept checks."
"But I want to use a check."
"Oh, well, then okay. We'll take a check."

Is that what you think the manager is going to say? Man, whose idea do you think it was to stop taking checks in the first place? The manager.

I ran into similar problems back at that rental car job. To get a car from us, you needed to have -- among other things -- a valid driver's license. When someone would hand me an expired license, I'd hand it back and explain the rules. (The rules, of course, were displayed on a large sign not two feet from the customer's face. But people never, ever read signs.) Indignant, they would demand to talk to a manager. Who would, of course, say to them exactly what I said. And they'd go spread their indignation somewhere else.

What bastards we are -- following the rules. Pshaw!