As a pizza delivery driver, I am occasionally viewed as a authority figure. See, the inference is made that, since I spend most of my time driving around town, I know the layout pretty well. Fortunately, this inference is often correct. When people are lost, they often stop at Pizza Place and ask for directions. I am only too happy to help.
But there are some people who are beyond my assistance. In more ways than one.
Just before sunset one Sunday evening, I headed out my car with an order. As I reached for the door handle, a green pickup truck swung into the space next to me. The passenger window descended, and the woman behind the wheel waved at me frantically. "Hey! Hey!" she said.
A damsel in distress? I'm your guy. "Yes?" I said. I expected she needed directions. What else would you ask from a pizza guy?
"I just bought this truck," she said. "Um...do you know how to turn the lights on inside?"
I stared back at her. "You mean...like...your dashboard lights?"
"Yeah!"
I stared some more. "Um...no."
"Oh," she said. "It's getting dark. What do you think I should do?"
More staring. "Uh...go back...to the...dealership? Um...maybe there's an owner's manual in the glove compartment?"
She looked unhappy with my suggestions. She pondered a moment, then scoffed, rolled up her window, and peeled away.
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